Stallone Theory

Hi Paul, I've been racking my brain trying to figure out why Sylvester Stallone would not be able to show up for his own podcast, and I think I finally put the pieces together. Why can't Stallone answer simple questions about his past? Why didn't he speak to that young person from the UCB Live show who met him in person? Why has he only played a handful of characters in films for the last decade? The answer is quite simple: the Sylvester Stallone we know today is in fact a hologram and/or robot.

We know from the film Rocky Balboa that as early as 2006 Hollywood had scanned Stallone into a computer to create a perfect virtual computerized Sly. This must have been too tempting for the studios, why pay actors, writers, and directors when a digital Stallone can do it all for free? With digital film processes, making movies with virtual Stallone would have been easy, and given that Tupac can perform as a hologram it seems obvious that the technology exists for brief fake public appearances. In more important situations such as premiers, a humanoid StalloneBot could be used. The powers that be realized that these smoke and mirrors would not stand up to the rigors of a WolfPop podcast however, and pulled the plug.

So with that solved, the only question is what happened to the real Stallone? My guess is that he secretly died around 2007, which was covered up by the studios. But in a shocking twist he in fact faked his own secret death, and is secretly ghostwriting for the virtual Stallone on screenplays for the various Expendables films. If you can find the real Stallone wherever he is currently hiding out, I think you may be able to interview him after all.

paul11
paul11
3 posts
14 replies

Whoa! This is definitely food for thought the WIFI at my Motel is a little spotty but when I head over to the library today, I'll definitely be reading up on HOLOGRAMS!

durkinm
durkinm
0 posts
1 replies

Please address this, Paul. Take Chris's theory and search out the truth.

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